As men, we often hear complaints about how we’re “users”—jumping from woman to woman, buying expensive gifts, and taking them on luxurious trips, only to disappear once we’ve had our fun. But let’s set the record straight: men aren’t users, we’re hunters. We’re fully aware of our short-term “play” budget and how it aligns with our long-term goals.
In our younger, more carefree days, it’s easy to spend big on women. We’ll buy the Gucci, the Prada, and even that trip to Panama, knowing full well that these material things come with no strings attached. Why? Because the intention was never to build something lasting. Those gifts are part of the hunt—tools used to enjoy the moment, not lay the foundation for a long-term relationship. We’re aware of the high maintenance these interactions come with, and for many men, that’s not a commitment they’re willing to make in the long run.
Sure, they might complain, call us users, or say we led them on. But here’s the truth: they knew the game. They understood the difference between being part of the “play” budget and being part of the future plan. And sadly, many fall right in line with the former. Expensive dates, designer clothes, and luxury trips are the bait in a world where everything has a price. The goal for many men isn’t to invest in a long-term relationship with these women, but to enjoy the experience without the burden of a commitment that will be expensive to maintain in the future.
Men are hunters with different strategies. There’s the budget for fun, and then there’s the budget for life. The fun budget is designed for short-term thrills—gifts, trips, and flashy moments that capture attention. It’s a calculated spend, meant to last only as long as the moment does. The long-term budget? That’s reserved for the woman we’re truly serious about, the one who fits into our life goals and isn’t simply attracted to the shine of the “play” phase.
The reality is, when a man is ready for something real, he’s not looking to keep up with the constant demands of designer gifts and extravagant vacations. He’s looking for someone who adds value beyond the superficial. The woman who gets the long-term investment isn’t the one caught up in the Gucci bags and tropical getaways. She’s the one who connects on a deeper level, the one who we can take a walk on the beach with, knowing that the bond goes beyond the material.
So, to all the complaints about men being users—understand that it’s not about using anyone. It’s about understanding the game. Many will fall in line with the “play” budget because they accept the terms, consciously or not. The problem is when expectations grow beyond what the play phase was ever meant to provide.